today at the park some guy broke his ankle and one of the people said “give him some lettuce” and everyone just stared at him for like 7 seconds until he said “I meant ice”
my whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the bitchy comment
My brother decided to use my bathroom and that was fine, but five minutes later I hear singing and he’s singing to the tune of “What’s This” for the Nightmare Before Christmas about various products I keep in the bathroom.
“What’s this, what’s this?
There’s products everywhere.
I think it goes in hair.”
petition for my favourite band to play every song they ever wrote in one gig no matter how long it takes
- Friend: You've never heard that song before?
- Me: No.
- Friend: What, have you been living under a rock?
- Me: Punk Rock